A little peace and quiet...

So. Here I am.

When I arrived in this province, there were seven of us (PCVs) assigned to the same I-NGO. As of a few days ago, I am officially the last of these seven left in the country. Is it lonely being the last? Hell yeah.

But, I've been lucky and my situation has been different from the situations of my colleagues. I don't really want to get into the details or whatnot, but suffice it to say that I'm not planning on leaving before my due time. Which is about four months from now.

Geez, time has been flying by.

So much has changed in the past year: My house has electricity, I no longer have orphans sleeping in my kitchen, I actually have a counterpart, I'm not afraid of walking around in public (I don't get as many stares as I used to...or maybe I'm just getting used to the stares), and I'm actually eating again. Gone are the days of living on nik-naks and roasted peanuts...I'm enjoying a healthy goat stew with cabbage and potatoes for lunch.

Yes yes...life is good.

But...I have to admit, I am going to be happy to come home. At least, I think so.

On a sidenote, today is this country's independence day. Usually, that means a lot of heavy drinking. I have to play in a village basketball game later on in the day though, so I'm just going to play it sober.

Oh yeah, on Tuesday I ate mangrove snails, mandioca paste, and a goat head (including the brain). So if I come down with any weird disease some time soon, keep that in mind when they're diagnosing me.

Alright, tchau for now.

Back in the groove...

So...after three days of having high-speed internet, I've realized that my brain has finally reacclimated and devolved back into the state of constant and unperceivable randomness. Is this a good thing? Probably not. But, no worries, all will be well once again when I am fondling my sweet sweet guitar and she sings out all my pent up emotions.

Sidenote: I watched the Airbender movie today. Ugh, everyone was right...it is pretty bad.

Otherside note: My braid is getting to the point where I can't turn my head quickly without it swinging around and whacking the side of my neck. I'm starting to wonder if it will continue to be a nuisance, no matter how long it becomes.

Underside note: This other hole business is really painful. I really want it to heal.

Topside note: Why are the females in this country so freaking curvy?

Center note: One of these days I'm going to finally run out of things to worry about or at least I'll find that I just don't give a crap about what happens.

Not really a note: I have serious saudades for two things at this moment...working out and my guitar. Let me come back to site please!!!!!!

Ugh...first you get to site and you hate it...then you start to accept your fate and you cope with it...and then you get to the point where you don't know how to live without site.

It's just like a relationship! Except, maybe in the reverse order. HA! Relationships...

Oh...I'm going to stop right there. But seriously, I'm going crazy after being away from site for two weeks. How are my kids doing? How are the machambas going? Is it raining? Are the crops growing? How's the capoeira group training? Did weekend basketball already start? How's my counterpart doing? Did my coordenator finally get the seeds we requested? What's new with the activista groups? Is that annoying girl still trying to get into my quintal?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*crying* I just want to go back to site...

Worrying doesn't solve anything...

...if anything, it just makes things worse. And when you have as many things to worry about as I do here, the worries can get pretty burdensome. So what do I do?

Well, I suppose I do lots of things...but I won't elaborate any further.

Long story short, I have a large pain in the ass and things are getting more and more complicated but I'm just going to keep my eyes on the prize and focus on completing my goals. If I am able to continue with working on them.

Sorry for being vague, I guess I'm just trying to not think about whatever it is that is annoying me. Heh.

That is all.

A peaceful resolve.

A fate marked by unfettered attempts at understanding shall result in the enlightenment of the truly unknown.

But seriously, se eu fosse o arvore de conhecimento, hei-de saber que ninguem tomou nenhuma das minhas frutas. There's just no possible way, with how stupid and reckless and ignorant humankind really is.

So, that is basically what I told the Zimbabweana that was prank calling me last Sunday when I was out with my colleagues. She called me about six times in rapid succession and didn't say anything. Of course, it was a number I didn't know, but I don't know anyone else from Zimbabwe so it had to have been her.

In better news, I ate a lot of wild mushrooms in the past couple weeks. It's mushroom season and I do delight in adding their glory to my diet. I just read in a magazine that mushrooms provide protein. Really? Hmm...the name of the species of mushroom that I've been eating, in the local dialect, is "Dega Dega". I'm not sure what it means translated into English, but I like to think it means "Yum Yum".

I just found out last night that there is an animal reserve in the northern part of my province. That's exciting...I wonder if I'll ever have time to actually go there...

Oh yeah, I titled this entry "A peaceful resolve" but I didn't really get to the peaceful resolve part.

Actually, there is no real peaceful resolve...just an unhealthy lack of care about stuff in general. So...I'm starting to get the feeling that no matter what I do, nothing at my site will really change much. I've definitely learned and grown a lot...but I'm not sure that there is very much growth to be had in the coming 9 months or so...I could be wrong, as I know guesses usually are, but so far in the year I feel like things have pretty much been going the same as they did last year...I'm just used to everything now. Well, most things...you know...stuff like women carrying heavy, awkwardly bulky objects on their heads, speaking to everyone in portuguese, having every mozambican who sees me assume that I'm chinese, having to boil my water and then filter it before I can drink it, etc.

I guess I've just hit an emotional limbo of sorts...I thought I was chill before...but if I was chill before, I wonder what I am now?

I know I had other stuff to talk about, but now that I've finally found access to internet, I've totally forgotten what I wanted to write about. I've just been bsing random stuff this entire time.

Oh well...better than nothing, I guess...ha, done.

Valentine´s Day

So. My last Valentine´s Day in the beautiful country of Moçambique. Beautiful females all around, and yet I´m just hanging around...as lonely as a cashew in a bag of peanuts.

No worries though, at least this country isn´t packed with constant reminders of this particular holiday. Love happens every day, why would they need one particular day for...

Um..I have to go find a ride back to site. Ha, no time to write.

Tchau...

At this moment in time...

So...I know I donºt write in this thing very often. Iºm sure all my friends and family back at home wonder what life is like for me. So, let me tell you whatºs going on through my mind.

I am currently at the office of my partner international non government organization in the provincial capital. I came here to complete a bunch of errands, which add up over time since I only come here once a month. On my list of ten things to do, Iºve only done six, but that is a major accomplishment considering that I only had 5 hours to do them and usually it takes two or three hours to get anything done. It doesnºt really matter exactly what Iºm trying to do, itºs just the line or the slowness of each process which sucks up time like an angry singularity.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, Iºm lonely. The last group, moz 13ers, just left a couple months ago...and considering how close I got to them, Iºve been in a major slump. Going to the club or drinking beers just doesnºt have the same feeling. Even though I only saw them once a month or so, it was still better than never.

So, when I went to the seed store to buy seeds, for the permaculture lesson Iºm giving in a couple weeks, and the girl started flirting with me...I went along with it and got her number.

Now, Iºm not going to get into any particulars, but lets just say thatºs something I never do. Iºm one of those shy dudes that doesnºt talk to girls. I get all red in the face and whatnot when a cute girl merely bats her eyelashes at me. So, there is only one explanation for my deviation in character...loneliness. Iºm trying to reach out for someone new to talk to and fill in this empty void in my soul.

I realize that this entry probably sounds hella stupid. It is pretty stupid. And, it probably doesnºt give the proper insight into my actual love life (which has actually been more than a little complex and overbearing than Iºm sure anyone can fathom...unless youºre really into those fake ass soap operas). But, I suppose I just needed to take this chance to vent. Iºve been mourning the loss of my colleagues for the past month and a half, and I really just need to let go and get on with my service. Of course, I am still waiting for all the students and teachers to return from their two month summer break (which occurs mid nov to mid jan) for the majority of my projects to start up again...so that makes it a little difficult to focus on the non'existent work load. And Iºm sick of this stupid keyboard setup which doesnºt give me the right symbols even when the key marks that symbol. Ugh. So, with that, I finish this entry.

Tchau.

Ha, eu menti (I lied). I have time to kill, since Iºm waiting for my boleia (free ride) to head back to my village, and access to this blog so I may as well continue writing.

Eh...oh, I know, Iºll type out the dialogue that occurred with the girl at the seed shop.

(Translated from Portuguese)
Me« Good morning.
Her« Good morning. Yes?
Me« Iºm looking for seeds. How much are they?
Her« Depends. What kind of seeds?

(Blah blah, discussed types of seeds and prices. Then she busted out some corn seeds covered in anti fungal powder)

Her« These arenºt to eat right?
Me« Oh no, Iºm teaching a permaculture lesson in my village.
Her« Oh, for the people living there?
Me« Yeah, Iºm a health volunteer.
Her« So you left your country to live in the bush?
Me« Yeah, I left the United States to volunteer in my village.
Her« The United States? Wow! Thatºs really far away. I thought everyone who looked like you was from China. (By the way, if I had a metical for every time someone asked me if I was from China, Iºd be freaking loaded)
Me« Yeah...nope.
Her« So isnºt it tough to live in the bush when youºre from the States?
Me« Yeah, but itºs worth it. I like what I do there.
Her« So, how long are you here for?
Me« Two years, but Iºve already been here for a year.
Her« And you already speak portuguese? Geez, you better be careful. You might end up marrying here.

...

Ok, I just realized that I donºt want to finish typing up the rest of that conversation. Itºs more private than I thought. Iºll just finish it with, she asked me to call her when I got back into the bush safely.

Alright, my buddy just asked me to come out to lunch with him. Guess thatºs my cue to head out.

Ate nunca, a pessoal.

Almost a year under my belt...

Wow. So, I've been away from home for almost 14 months now, but I've only been at site for about 11 months. And I know I haven't been writing in my blog very religiously, so I guess it'd be nice of me to write a brief update of the past year.

Well...honestly, most of the stuff I've been doing here has just been getting over the culture shock. After having spent my entire life in California and then arriving in my tiny, impoverished village and being surrounded by strange languages and cultural practices...it did take a while for me to just start to comprehend the situation in which the locals live.

That being said, the local community based organization (CBO) that I work with finally recieved their legalization document this past month. I spent a lot of time trying to get that done with the limited resources which we have in our village, so it was a major relief when we finally got it. The local "capoeira" group has lost interest in capoeira and now practice karate. For some reason they've made me the grandmaster, even though I hardly ever come and I haven't practiced martial arts in over 13 years. They have a local (he's originally from the city 3 hours away, but studying at the highschool in my village) master who teaches them on a regular basis. Sometimes I practice capoeira in my yard, but I'm usually busy doing other stuff.

I have a new site mate who's pretty cool. He's a few years older than me, and he's actually a peace corps response volunteer (he already served his two year term about 8 years ago) who is working a 9 month agriculture project in my village. He's been helping me out with my guitar playing, so that's been fun. It totally changes the feel of my site too, knowing that I'm not the only American here. I definitely feel more comfortable in my skin. I have no idea how I survived last year all by myself, with no one to speak English to or who understood what life is like back in the states. There's just a huge gap in the type of stuff that we think about...you're probably wondering "like what?"

Well...for example, on a daily basis in the states we might think stuff like "oh, today I need to go buy milk at the supermarket after work, then drop by my buddy's house to play some video games, and then plan out my schedule for the month." On a daily basis in my village, it kind of goes like "Desejo que vai chover amanha, eu preciso de isso para minha machamba produzir muitas vegetais. Talvez eu vou pilar amendoim, ralar coco e vervir isso para ter leite de coco, e depois apanhar algums folhas de mandioca para fazer matapa para a comida nossas hoje (translation: I hope it rains tomorrow so that my farm will produce many vegetables. Maybe I'll pound some peanuts then shave a coconut and boil it to make some coconut milk and then light a some coals (using a plastic bag to start the fire) to cook that mixture with some leaves from my yard to make today's meal for my family)". I remember when I was learning how to make matapa, it took about four hours to make.

I could write more stuff about that, but I'm getting lazy.

Most of the kids/highschoolers that I work with are on vacation now (their Summer break is from November to January) so I'm working more with my CBO this month and next instead of with the students.

I've been eating a lot of coconuts recently. I'm getting better at choosing which coconuts are better to eat (sweeter and more tender) and at opening them with my knife (hacking at it to open it up and drink the juice then hacking it in half to be able to scoop out the meat). Melissa doesn't have lanhas at her site, so I'm suffering right now. Oh yeah, I should've mentioned, I'm at Melissa's site because she's having her despedida (going away party) today. I can't believe she's going to cos in less than two weeks.

Alright, gotta go, tchau tchau.

Oh yeah...

So...work is picking up. It's nice. I have lot of sweet little projects: have a journalism group at the secondary school, a music group with kids 13-15 (a bunch of them are orphans), a capoira group that wants to do theatre plays and shows in the community, I helped my local CBO (community based organization) restructure their leadership and am still currently helping them develop, and I'm trying help a bunch of orphans get registered so that they can receive financial aid. I think I might start a permaculture project in the near future too...maybe little income generating project with orphans or with the cbo too...we'll see...yeah...life is getting better.

Ok. Nao ha mais coisas para dizer. Ou talvez tenho, mais aqui nao e um bom sitio para falar.

Tchau. =)