Where in our soul does love reside?

I don't know. But it sure is painful.

Até nunca, Maganja da Costa. You taught me more than any other experience and have meant more to me than any love I've ever had.

Beijos,
Jorgie

AHHHHHHH!!! The end is near!!!!?!?!?

I haven't written a post in a while...and that's because I've been seriously busy doing a lot of random different things. This might actually be my last post until my cos week. So much to do, so little time...

So...my English theater group got second place and two of my students received the trophies for best actor and best actress. Faruk, the best actor, was a drunken mess of a slacker and Maria, the best actress, was the female student trying to create a future for herself. It was fun.

I travelled to Ilha de Mozambique. Took two days to get there, stayed there for one day, and then it took two days to get back to site. It was fun though. It was a good last trip in-country.

Last night, my coordenator dropped by my house but Cam and I weren't home. She told the owner of our house to let us know she came by. I texted her, but she didn't respond until 5am this morning. I was out training capoeira with one of my students, so I didn't see her text until after I got back and showered, which was around 0630h. Turns out Cam and I are supposed to have a meeting with our Quelimane supervisor, who's planning to visit our site today, at 0730h.

Fat chance he'll actually be here at 0730h though.

So...I'm going to just continue with my original plan for the day and if he shows up I'll deal with him then. What a freaking booger of a supervisor. It really is impossible to work for someone whom you don't respect.

One of my orphans broke his friend's telephone. He came to me looking for help, and I told him I wouldn't just straight up give him the money but he could work for me and I'd pay him. So...he's coming in at 8am to do random ish for me. I'm also filming for a random kung fu film with my students at 9am. Heh heh, it'll be fun. They're so freaking funny.

Ok, I have to go prep breakfast now.

Tchauzinho...

A week of blazing glory...

So...my time back in the states is coming to a close...I came back just for Mike's wedding, but being the best man at my buddy's wedding is a once in a life time opportunity, so there's no way I would've missed it.

The bachelor party weekend was cool. We swung off a cliff in yosemite and went mountain biking at north star. Reno is pretty ghetto. South tahoe was whatevs. Somehow Mike decided to christen me "Teardrop".

The wedding was sweet. I actually enjoyed running around helping out Mike with random errands. I was totally plastered for the toast, but I think it turned out alright. It kinda sucked that the dancing was so short though, we had to stop at 9:30pm. Butttt, chilling with some new friends until 5ish in the morning was tight. I picked up a new nickname due to my weird antics and drinking abilities..."King of Africa".

Watched Insidious with Mike last night. Then, to get over the chills, we watched Black Snake Moan. From horror to whorish. It was a good mix...but when I drove home I still had the creeps. I really hope I'm not good at astral projection.

It's been nice being back in the states, eating and hanging out with old friends, but I'm ready to come back to Mozambique. As with always, so much to do but so little time.

Ack, going rock climbing at Point Dume now. Gotta go, catch ya later...

I Am Not a Purple Pineapple

In the spirit of the events which unleashed themselves upon me yesterday, I would like to rant and rave and complain.

But, since I have already spent an hour pacing around my hotel room talking to myself, I will not do that.

Instead, I will utter gouts of randomness.

I need to buy rat traps. I don't know where to buy them though. Ugh.

I wanted to start working on my resume. I guess I can...but it's weird thinking about stuff I've done in the US while I'm still in Moz. Maybe I should focus more on debriefing myself on stuff that I've done while here.

Thinking about all the things I have to do in the next forty days makes me tired. Write reports, take care of random stuff for my youth group, set up connections with new organizations that are starting to do work in my community, reconnect with my own NGO and plan out the integration of my volunteer replacement...day-long flights, bachelor party, wedding stuff, optometrist appointment, and personal errands to do in the states...write a resume, start applying to jobs, taking care of last minute projects and sightseeing for the last time...

I'm hungry. I do have a delicious pizza next to me. I guess I should eat it. Ok, I shall eat it.

Onward ho!

A period of overlap...

So...I just got back from helping out for a week and a half at the Moz 16 pst.

It was fun.

And now I'm prepping for the COS conference.

Yay.

Josh tired.

Well...at least life isn't dragging on like it was last year. The second year of service is definitely better than the first.

Have I talked about the rat problem in my house?

A couple weeks ago, I woke up because I felt something warm and furry snuggling against my knee. I nudged it with my knee, and it jumped. Then, it returned to snuggling against my knee. I yelled and then quickly put on my glasses and used the light from my cell phone to illuminate my surroundings. Lo and behold, it was a rat. At the appearance of the luminescence, it scurried up my mosquito net and clung to the top portion of it. I escaped from the confines of my mosquito net and turned on the light. The rat swayed to and fro for a bit, but then decided to just stay hanging at the top part of my net. I picked up a stick (which I had been using for my shoe rack) and busted a Hank Aaron on the poor mammal. Upon impact the vagabond squeaked and wriggled and then fell. It didn't move after landing, but I decided to give it one more whack just for good measure.

Bad call.

Blood splattered everywhere. I had to remove my net, dump the rat remains in the trash pit outside, and then spend the rest of the night without a mosquito net. In the morning, I woke up with quite a few mosquito bites, but I still prefer that over sleeping with rat blood in my face.

I'm not sure if I ever blogged about the first rat I killed, but that one met its end by eating a tomato laced with rat poison. It actually landed on my pillow, after dropping from the ceiling, as it wriggled with its death throes...just to spite me.

My future sitemate/roomie wants me to solve the rat problem, but I'm not really too keen on evicting the critters. I'd probably have to get a cat, and cats usually equal ticks and fleas.

On a completely different note, I am completely convinced that having a rat tail was a good way to keep females away from me. Well, kind of.

Oh, wrath of the rat...beware of the cat...

A Retrospective Introspection

I think my face isn't the same as it was two years ago.

Actually, I know my face isn't the same as it was two years ago. But what weirds me out more is that I, myself as a person, am not the same as I was two years ago. Well perhaps not that fact in particular, but more the extent of the difference.

Enough of that train of thought.

So, time is coming to a close and...I'm ready for the close...but I'm somewhat dreading what's to come after the close. Well, dreading in an optimistic kind of way. So many opportunities...for me to screw up...and pass up to take on other opportunities. The world is my large, multi-pearled oyster.

Chega com isso tambem.

She's so hot!

Deixa-la...

So...mindprint: I just finished reading Altered Carbon yesterday, I'm currently reading The Audacity of Hope and an african book in portuguese, I have to write a month and trimester report for my NGO, I have to help my highschool group write a theatre piece about gender inequality, I have to sort out the particulars of our next school newspaper...end of mindprint.

I miss video games. I miss food.

But I do like my super-flexible schedule and the clean air.

Am I going to stay in LA when I get back?

Ha duvida.

Ok, time to move on with my day.

A little peace and quiet...

So. Here I am.

When I arrived in this province, there were seven of us (PCVs) assigned to the same I-NGO. As of a few days ago, I am officially the last of these seven left in the country. Is it lonely being the last? Hell yeah.

But, I've been lucky and my situation has been different from the situations of my colleagues. I don't really want to get into the details or whatnot, but suffice it to say that I'm not planning on leaving before my due time. Which is about four months from now.

Geez, time has been flying by.

So much has changed in the past year: My house has electricity, I no longer have orphans sleeping in my kitchen, I actually have a counterpart, I'm not afraid of walking around in public (I don't get as many stares as I used to...or maybe I'm just getting used to the stares), and I'm actually eating again. Gone are the days of living on nik-naks and roasted peanuts...I'm enjoying a healthy goat stew with cabbage and potatoes for lunch.

Yes yes...life is good.

But...I have to admit, I am going to be happy to come home. At least, I think so.

On a sidenote, today is this country's independence day. Usually, that means a lot of heavy drinking. I have to play in a village basketball game later on in the day though, so I'm just going to play it sober.

Oh yeah, on Tuesday I ate mangrove snails, mandioca paste, and a goat head (including the brain). So if I come down with any weird disease some time soon, keep that in mind when they're diagnosing me.

Alright, tchau for now.

Back in the groove...

So...after three days of having high-speed internet, I've realized that my brain has finally reacclimated and devolved back into the state of constant and unperceivable randomness. Is this a good thing? Probably not. But, no worries, all will be well once again when I am fondling my sweet sweet guitar and she sings out all my pent up emotions.

Sidenote: I watched the Airbender movie today. Ugh, everyone was right...it is pretty bad.

Otherside note: My braid is getting to the point where I can't turn my head quickly without it swinging around and whacking the side of my neck. I'm starting to wonder if it will continue to be a nuisance, no matter how long it becomes.

Underside note: This other hole business is really painful. I really want it to heal.

Topside note: Why are the females in this country so freaking curvy?

Center note: One of these days I'm going to finally run out of things to worry about or at least I'll find that I just don't give a crap about what happens.

Not really a note: I have serious saudades for two things at this moment...working out and my guitar. Let me come back to site please!!!!!!

Ugh...first you get to site and you hate it...then you start to accept your fate and you cope with it...and then you get to the point where you don't know how to live without site.

It's just like a relationship! Except, maybe in the reverse order. HA! Relationships...

Oh...I'm going to stop right there. But seriously, I'm going crazy after being away from site for two weeks. How are my kids doing? How are the machambas going? Is it raining? Are the crops growing? How's the capoeira group training? Did weekend basketball already start? How's my counterpart doing? Did my coordenator finally get the seeds we requested? What's new with the activista groups? Is that annoying girl still trying to get into my quintal?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*crying* I just want to go back to site...

Worrying doesn't solve anything...

...if anything, it just makes things worse. And when you have as many things to worry about as I do here, the worries can get pretty burdensome. So what do I do?

Well, I suppose I do lots of things...but I won't elaborate any further.

Long story short, I have a large pain in the ass and things are getting more and more complicated but I'm just going to keep my eyes on the prize and focus on completing my goals. If I am able to continue with working on them.

Sorry for being vague, I guess I'm just trying to not think about whatever it is that is annoying me. Heh.

That is all.

A peaceful resolve.

A fate marked by unfettered attempts at understanding shall result in the enlightenment of the truly unknown.

But seriously, se eu fosse o arvore de conhecimento, hei-de saber que ninguem tomou nenhuma das minhas frutas. There's just no possible way, with how stupid and reckless and ignorant humankind really is.

So, that is basically what I told the Zimbabweana that was prank calling me last Sunday when I was out with my colleagues. She called me about six times in rapid succession and didn't say anything. Of course, it was a number I didn't know, but I don't know anyone else from Zimbabwe so it had to have been her.

In better news, I ate a lot of wild mushrooms in the past couple weeks. It's mushroom season and I do delight in adding their glory to my diet. I just read in a magazine that mushrooms provide protein. Really? Hmm...the name of the species of mushroom that I've been eating, in the local dialect, is "Dega Dega". I'm not sure what it means translated into English, but I like to think it means "Yum Yum".

I just found out last night that there is an animal reserve in the northern part of my province. That's exciting...I wonder if I'll ever have time to actually go there...

Oh yeah, I titled this entry "A peaceful resolve" but I didn't really get to the peaceful resolve part.

Actually, there is no real peaceful resolve...just an unhealthy lack of care about stuff in general. So...I'm starting to get the feeling that no matter what I do, nothing at my site will really change much. I've definitely learned and grown a lot...but I'm not sure that there is very much growth to be had in the coming 9 months or so...I could be wrong, as I know guesses usually are, but so far in the year I feel like things have pretty much been going the same as they did last year...I'm just used to everything now. Well, most things...you know...stuff like women carrying heavy, awkwardly bulky objects on their heads, speaking to everyone in portuguese, having every mozambican who sees me assume that I'm chinese, having to boil my water and then filter it before I can drink it, etc.

I guess I've just hit an emotional limbo of sorts...I thought I was chill before...but if I was chill before, I wonder what I am now?

I know I had other stuff to talk about, but now that I've finally found access to internet, I've totally forgotten what I wanted to write about. I've just been bsing random stuff this entire time.

Oh well...better than nothing, I guess...ha, done.

Valentine´s Day

So. My last Valentine´s Day in the beautiful country of Moçambique. Beautiful females all around, and yet I´m just hanging around...as lonely as a cashew in a bag of peanuts.

No worries though, at least this country isn´t packed with constant reminders of this particular holiday. Love happens every day, why would they need one particular day for...

Um..I have to go find a ride back to site. Ha, no time to write.

Tchau...

At this moment in time...

So...I know I donºt write in this thing very often. Iºm sure all my friends and family back at home wonder what life is like for me. So, let me tell you whatºs going on through my mind.

I am currently at the office of my partner international non government organization in the provincial capital. I came here to complete a bunch of errands, which add up over time since I only come here once a month. On my list of ten things to do, Iºve only done six, but that is a major accomplishment considering that I only had 5 hours to do them and usually it takes two or three hours to get anything done. It doesnºt really matter exactly what Iºm trying to do, itºs just the line or the slowness of each process which sucks up time like an angry singularity.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was, Iºm lonely. The last group, moz 13ers, just left a couple months ago...and considering how close I got to them, Iºve been in a major slump. Going to the club or drinking beers just doesnºt have the same feeling. Even though I only saw them once a month or so, it was still better than never.

So, when I went to the seed store to buy seeds, for the permaculture lesson Iºm giving in a couple weeks, and the girl started flirting with me...I went along with it and got her number.

Now, Iºm not going to get into any particulars, but lets just say thatºs something I never do. Iºm one of those shy dudes that doesnºt talk to girls. I get all red in the face and whatnot when a cute girl merely bats her eyelashes at me. So, there is only one explanation for my deviation in character...loneliness. Iºm trying to reach out for someone new to talk to and fill in this empty void in my soul.

I realize that this entry probably sounds hella stupid. It is pretty stupid. And, it probably doesnºt give the proper insight into my actual love life (which has actually been more than a little complex and overbearing than Iºm sure anyone can fathom...unless youºre really into those fake ass soap operas). But, I suppose I just needed to take this chance to vent. Iºve been mourning the loss of my colleagues for the past month and a half, and I really just need to let go and get on with my service. Of course, I am still waiting for all the students and teachers to return from their two month summer break (which occurs mid nov to mid jan) for the majority of my projects to start up again...so that makes it a little difficult to focus on the non'existent work load. And Iºm sick of this stupid keyboard setup which doesnºt give me the right symbols even when the key marks that symbol. Ugh. So, with that, I finish this entry.

Tchau.

Ha, eu menti (I lied). I have time to kill, since Iºm waiting for my boleia (free ride) to head back to my village, and access to this blog so I may as well continue writing.

Eh...oh, I know, Iºll type out the dialogue that occurred with the girl at the seed shop.

(Translated from Portuguese)
Me« Good morning.
Her« Good morning. Yes?
Me« Iºm looking for seeds. How much are they?
Her« Depends. What kind of seeds?

(Blah blah, discussed types of seeds and prices. Then she busted out some corn seeds covered in anti fungal powder)

Her« These arenºt to eat right?
Me« Oh no, Iºm teaching a permaculture lesson in my village.
Her« Oh, for the people living there?
Me« Yeah, Iºm a health volunteer.
Her« So you left your country to live in the bush?
Me« Yeah, I left the United States to volunteer in my village.
Her« The United States? Wow! Thatºs really far away. I thought everyone who looked like you was from China. (By the way, if I had a metical for every time someone asked me if I was from China, Iºd be freaking loaded)
Me« Yeah...nope.
Her« So isnºt it tough to live in the bush when youºre from the States?
Me« Yeah, but itºs worth it. I like what I do there.
Her« So, how long are you here for?
Me« Two years, but Iºve already been here for a year.
Her« And you already speak portuguese? Geez, you better be careful. You might end up marrying here.

...

Ok, I just realized that I donºt want to finish typing up the rest of that conversation. Itºs more private than I thought. Iºll just finish it with, she asked me to call her when I got back into the bush safely.

Alright, my buddy just asked me to come out to lunch with him. Guess thatºs my cue to head out.

Ate nunca, a pessoal.